The first question to ask here is – Does a child really need a coach? Isn’t being a parent enough? I grew up without a coach and I seem to be absolutely fine.
The idea behind coaching is to understand that coaching is not a “role” – it is a form / style of communication and teaching, which over hundreds of years has evolved into an effective transformational tool.
Everyone is a potential coach in their own and someone else’s life, whether you are a parent guiding a child through their understanding of the world, whether you are a teacher explaining fundamental concepts to your students, whether you are a boss enhancing the learning of your own team.
Every moment gives you the opportunity to be a coach and impact someone’s life. Then as a parent don’t you think it is imperative that we understand its foundation and start using this style to truly help our children navigate the complexities of this world. After all, all aspects of behavior, beliefs and mindset truly start at home.
As a primary or secondary caregiver to children we must at all times be aware that all that we do, say and express around them is directly absorbed by their minds and then displayed in their own behavior. As a starting point to moving towards adding the “Coaching Approach” to your parenting style, there are a few conscious steps you can take as a parent. Each of these steps need to remain consistent and can lead to positive behavioral and relationship changes with you and your child.
Understanding the Basics of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
NLP, a way of bringing about a desired mental behaviour using language and other types of communication, often uses hypnosis and self-hypnosis to achieve the required change or ‘programming’. Essentially, NLP is a pattern of thought that influences brain behaviour. Language, which is the chief medium of communication, is used to identify and then play out desirable brain behaviour.
Developed in the 1970s, NLP was and continues to be seen as a way of communicating with the subconscious through regular conversations. Language, our mode of comprehension and persuasion, is stretched a little beyond it comfortable boundary to communicate with the mind. Along with communicating effectively with others, NLP recognizes the importance of communicating with oneself. Most of us know the feeling of not really getting through to another person who does not speak the same language. In such situations, we try our best to break the thought down and communicate that which is most necessary. Sometimes this works and some other times we fail at getting the message across. In our day-to-day lives, most of us use this kind of hit-and-miss approach while communicating with ourselves. With NLP, one can benchmark or model the best examples of communication and use it for personal growth and development.
WHAT ARE BELIEFS?
Beliefs are a way for us to interpret our reality. As a definition, “a belief is an assumption which we think is true”. In light of this definition virtually everything in our lives can be classified as a form of belief. Analyzing beliefs without giving it a specific direction or goal can lead us down the proverbial Rabbit Hole and may not lead to a productive outcome. It might end up becoming more of a subjective debate on the truth itself. It’s funny – as I write this my beliefs about “belief” are plainly evident. That being said I think it is important to approach beliefs and belief systems as a means and way of using the understanding from it to improve. Improve our thought process, improve our behavior, improve our ability to interpret and respond to others – in general improve our lives as a whole.
The basic questions to answer are – how are beliefs formed?, How do they impact our reality and day to day life and do they change, can they be changed?
Most people, who are looking for change to a new career and have decided what they want to do, often wonder if it is too late to do so, in their life. People into their late 30s or 40s, or even in their 50s facing this predicament, are often those who have been doing fairly well in their current jobs. Some common questions asked by them are – is it too late to make the change, and if not, then how do I go about it?
Neuro-linguistic planning (NLP) encompasses the three essential components involved in producing human experience. While the neurological system controls how our bodies function, language determines how we interact with others, thereby forming the process through which we communicate our thoughts and ideas. Programming, the third component in the model, determines the kind of world we create for ourselves. Perhaps understood best as ‘projection’, programming is a blueprint of the world which we create for ourselves. NLP hence is a modality that explores the fundamental interplay between the mind, language, and our projections of the world.
The Need We live in a world of unprecedented change, and many are immersed in unpredictability and complexity. With the ongoing competition around us, we are constantly chasing goals, deadlines, dealing with difficult people, battling high anxiety, managing our careers, difficult relationships, finances, low self-esteem, and several other personal challenges.
To understand how NLP can accentuate and improve the quality of Coaching, it is imperative to understand what each of these methodologies addresses independently.
What does it mean to be a Millennial? Does it refer to the highly driven ambitious youth of today who do not wish to settle for mediocrity or does the term in fact represent the highly anxious restless generation that is lining up at the therapists’ office complaining of extreme stress, extreme grief, extreme everything and an inability to cope? Parents complain that they are glued to their smart phones 24×7, do not register an event as completed unless it is shared with their 1000 something friends on social media, have short attention spans and an even shorter emotional wavelength, are constantly wishing for instant gratification and are unable to handle failure.