Chapter Director – Delhi Chapter
The first question to ask here is – Does a child really need a coach? Isn’t being a parent enough? I grew up without a coach and I seem to be absolutely fine.
The idea behind coaching is to understand that coaching is not a “role” – it is a form / style of communication and teaching, which over hundreds of years has evolved into an effective transformational tool.
Everyone is a potential coach in their own and someone else’s life, whether you are a parent guiding a child through their understanding of the world, whether you are a teacher explaining fundamental concepts to your students, whether you are a boss enhancing the learning of your own team.
Every moment gives you the opportunity to be a coach and impact someone’s life. Then as a parent don’t you think it is imperative that we understand its foundation and start using this style to truly help our children navigate the complexities of this world. After all, all aspects of behavior, beliefs and mindset truly start at home.
As a primary or secondary caregiver to children we must at all times be aware that all that we do, say and express around them is directly absorbed by their minds and then displayed in their own behavior. As a starting point to moving towards adding the “Coaching Approach” to your parenting style, there are a few conscious steps you can take as a parent. Each of these steps need to remain consistent and can lead to positive behavioral and relationship changes with you and your child.
Understanding the Basics of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
NLP, a way of bringing about a desired mental behaviour using language and other types of communication, often uses hypnosis and self-hypnosis to achieve the required change or ‘programming’. Essentially, NLP is a pattern of thought that influences brain behaviour. Language, which is the chief medium of communication, is used to identify and then play out desirable brain behaviour.
Developed in the 1970s, NLP was and continues to be seen as a way of communicating with the subconscious through regular conversations. Language, our mode of comprehension and persuasion, is stretched a little beyond it comfortable boundary to communicate with the mind. Along with communicating effectively with others, NLP recognizes the importance of communicating with oneself. Most of us know the feeling of not really getting through to another person who does not speak the same language. In such situations, we try our best to break the thought down and communicate that which is most necessary. Sometimes this works and some other times we fail at getting the message across. In our day-to-day lives, most of us use this kind of hit-and-miss approach while communicating with ourselves. With NLP, one can benchmark or model the best examples of communication and use it for personal growth and development.
WHAT ARE BELIEFS?
Beliefs are a way for us to interpret our reality. As a definition, “a belief is an assumption which we think is true”. In light of this definition virtually everything in our lives can be classified as a form of belief. Analyzing beliefs without giving it a specific direction or goal can lead us down the proverbial Rabbit Hole and may not lead to a productive outcome. It might end up becoming more of a subjective debate on the truth itself. It’s funny – as I write this my beliefs about “belief” are plainly evident. That being said I think it is important to approach beliefs and belief systems as a means and way of using the understanding from it to improve. Improve our thought process, improve our behavior, improve our ability to interpret and respond to others – in general improve our lives as a whole.
The basic questions to answer are – how are beliefs formed?, How do they impact our reality and day to day life and do they change, can they be changed?
Born in Denmark in 1959, Ms Dorthe Gyldenkaerne is the CEO & partner with Makani Academy and has more than 20 years of work experience particularly in teaching, training and coaching. She has been living on the Faroe Islands, The North Atlantic Ocean for 25 years . She is a certified NLP Master Trainer, Enneagram …